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Published: September 10, 2010
Once, Twice, Three Times a Wife
Last night, as I was flipping through the eleventy hundred channels I have trying to find something to
watch, a show promo caught my eye. Now, I’m eagerly awaiting September 26th for what I predict to
become the Queen Mother of Train Wreck TV. Yes, this new show is going to dethrone the current
Grand Supreme crown holder, "Toddlers and Tiaras." I just know it.

The new show, titled "Sister Wives," is focused on a man named Kody and his three wives. He also
happens to be engaged to another woman, who will become the fourth wife. The show description,
according to People Magazine states: “Kody struggles with keeping his unorthodox family life a secret
from the outside world.” So right off the bat, it appears that Kody is not the sharpest tool in the
woodshed. I hate to break it to you, Kody, but we’ve seen this scenario played out before on TV and
the end results are usually less than stellar.

Now, I’m not as naïve to be shocked about a show revolving around polygamy, hell I used to watch
"Big Love" until it petered out and I lost interest. But that was fiction; this is reality, albeit possible
pseudo-reality. That, coupled with my penchant for trashy TV, puts this show on the top of my DVR To
Record list. Honestly, I could really care less what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own
homes, but I have to admit my curiosity is peaked to get a glimpse of this family’s life. But, I truly hope
that Kody is making enough money to pay for all of his 13 children, because I don’t think he’ll be too
popular with his viewing audience if we’re supporting his “unorthodox” lifestyle.

My first thought after seeing the promo was “what the hell is he drugging these women with to make
them happily go along with such nonsense?” But after I contemplated it more, I can see some
situations in which this might work out. For example, if one of the wives is solely in charge of cleaning,
then I could get on board with that. And if there was a dedicated cooking wife, then yes sign me up! I
can also see the bennie of having a wife with a teaching background, to help out with the all the
homework that leaves me feeling like I should be contacting my institution of higher learning to request
a refund for my BS degree. And while that does mean Bachelor of Science, I affectionately refer to it as
my Bull Shit degree.

Additional perks to the multi-wife lifestyle could also include those times when you have a “headache.”
No need to feel guilty about not wanting to do the deed ever again – just send him on to the next wife! It
also solves the problem of finding a shoulder to cry on (or bitch on). I mean sometimes you just feel
like your BFF can’t fathom the depth of your hubby’s ineptitude at *fill in the blank*, but your Sister Wife
will completely understand and be able to fully commiserate with you. Plus, I would think having more
than one wife would guarantee baby-sitting and taxi duties for those times when you need to have kids
on different ends of town at the same time.

Matter of fact, the more I think about it, it seems like a pretty good deal. Now, I’m just wondering where
to start the search – the Walmarts or Craigslist?