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For the past half decade, we’ve been receiving strange transmissions from Channel 5, a
public access channel broadcasting from a world wholly different, yet entirely similar to ours.
Channel 5 is the only place to see the latest commercials for amazing new products from
CINCO: B’owl (a bat/owl hybrid doll that is “great for throwing away”), My New Pep Pep (a life-
size grandpa doll complete with hard candy dispenser), and the CINCO Phone (a cell phone
with only one button that burns your face when it overheats. Face burn cream included).
Out of all the hilarious sketches in Tim and Eric Awesome Show ,Great Job!, it’s the
commercials that draw me back again and again. This is absurdity and satire at its best.
The message might be a little simplistic (the products we waste money on destroy us),
but Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim deliver it with wit and skill, episode after episode
Especially effective are the CINCO products that physically harm their consumers, forcing
them to remove their teeth, defecate on themselves, and eat their own excrement. Here is
the old Dan Akroyd Saturday Night Live sketch, selling bags of broken glass to children for
Christmas—a sentiment about the physical toll capitalism forces upon us, and our willful
acceptance of it. Mountain Dew is one of my own, personal CINCO products. It poisons my
liver, loads on the calories, and does things to my digestive system I’d rather not discuss,
but I've been known to drink it and only it for days on end, smiling the whole time.
On the Monday before Thanksgiving, I met with a few hundred other fans for Tim and Eric’s
live performance at the Carnegie Library Music Hall of Homestead near Pittsburgh. The
crowd was rather subdued. Considering all the rock concerts I've been to, it took a second to
realize that comedy shows have a different vibe.Fans sat and respectfully applauded as Tim
and Eric took the stage, singing about their new holiday, “Chrimbus,” which is on December
5, and is pretty much the same as Christmas, if Christmas had been invented by Channel 5
and CINCO. A new, Chrimbus-inspired CINCO product was unveiled via the projection
screen that substituted during costume changes: a teddy bear with pasta inside its
stomach. Just boil it over night and surprise your wife with a teddy full of hot penne!
For the next hour and a half, Tim and Eric performed some of their characters, like Jim and
Derrick—their jerkoff MTV host alter egos—and a pair of astronomers who know nothing
about astronomy (except that they wear black turtlenecks when talking about space). The
performances were a bit too scripted, and even awkward at times, but pleasing nonetheless.
Being so close to Thanksgiving, I imagine Tim and Eric were getting a bit tired of their own
script, but they pulled off a great finish when they came on stage as leads for their fake band,
PussWhip BangGang—fans finally stood up for the last half hour, cheering and singing along
to some of the show’s best songs, like “Come Over” (a lurid love song crooned by an old
lady) and “Petite Feet” (about a man with tiny feet who sounds like a lady when he walks).
Unfortunately, I was disappointed that none of Tim and Eric’s cast of misfits joined them—it
was strictly Tim and Eric the whole time, with smattering of exclusive videos featuring some
of their regulars, like David Liebe Hart, James Quall, Steve Brule, and Zach Galifianakis. The
experience of Tim and Eric is somewhat muted without these folks around.
But despite my misgivings, the show was a success; it was more a celebration of Tim
and Eric, rather than a polished stage performance. The fans came to simply be in the
same room with two of their favorite comedians for a couple of hours, and they weren't
disappointed. I’d recommend seeing them live if you ever have the opportunity, but I
recommend getting their DVDs even more. There’s no doubt these guys are geniuses—
modern day Twains who are magnificent at combining low brow comedy, absurdism,
surrealism, and social commentary that is hard to find in other television shows.
It was an awesome show, great job
Tim and Eric Awesome Tour, Great Job! Chrimbus Spectacular 2010
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